This wannabe Texas Chainsaw Massacre is on Tubi.
A group of friends working on a book about crazy roadside attractions stop at The Museum of Monsters & Madmen, owned by Captain Spaulding, a clown with an odd sense of humor. There they learn about a local legend, Doctor Satan. This ultimately leads them into trouble as they seek out the tree the "good doctor" was hung from.
When this movie first came out, I wasn't a fan at all. It was brutal, vile, and mean. While I still find it all of those things, it's grown on me a bit. Unlike the focus of most of these kinds of movies, the bad guys really do get the spotlight. This makes sense because when making the film, Zombie reportedly told Universal that "nobody cares about the fucking kids." While I don't think that's totally true, it's definitely the mindset Mr. Zombie went with.
Otis, Baby, and the rest of the Firefly family are obnoxious. Even into The Devil's Rejects, I didn't really care for them. However, I absolutely love Sid Haig as Captain Spaulding. He's the true star of the flick for me. The opening scene is one of my favorite horror openings. I also enjoyed the scenes with Doctor Satan and his lab. There's some creepy stuff and honestly it works better in the film, because it's only on screen for a short amount of time.
This movie feels like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre smothered in Rob Zombie's Special Sauce. You can't really taste the original, though you know it's there, and you're probably not going to enjoy it if your pallet isn't partial to Zombie.
I don't hate this one, but I don't really love it either (outside of Captain Spaulding). I think there are some good ideas and interesting scenes, but ultimately is kinda meh.
In Your Game:
Dr. Satan
"Now one of our local heroes, S. Quentin Quale aka Dr.
Satan. Murderer, torturer, but most of all, master surgeon. Mr. Quale was an
intern at Willows County Mental Hospital, nicknamed "Weeping Willows"
for the never ending cries of pain. Through primitive brain surgery. Mr. Quale
believed that he could create a race of super humans from the mentally ill.
Vigilante justice prevailed; they took his ass out and hung him and that
infamous hanging tree is no more than a stone's throw away from where ya'll's
ass now seated. Then the next day, his body was found to be missing. Until
today, no trace of Dr. Satan has ever been discovered. But then who
knows...maybe he lives next door to you?"
-Captain Spaulding
Dr. Satan
Armor Class: 10
Hit Dice: 3
Move: 12
Actions: 1
Attack: Unarmed (1d3) or Syringe (1+ save vs poison of fall unconscious for 1d4 hours)
Special: Play possum (can appear comatose perfectly while still conscious)
Bonuses: +8 to Medicine, +5 to Science
Morale: 10
Terror: 10
HDE: 3
Part of the logic with these stats comes from a deleted scene in The Devil's Rejects.
Hit Dice: 3
Move: 12
Actions: 1
Attack: Unarmed (1d3) or Syringe (1+ save vs poison of fall unconscious for 1d4 hours)
Special: Play possum (can appear comatose perfectly while still conscious)
Bonuses: +8 to Medicine, +5 to Science
Morale: 10
Terror: 10
HDE: 3
Part of the logic with these stats comes from a deleted scene in The Devil's Rejects.
This movie still, eighteen years later, remains the worst movie I've ever seen in an actual theater. And I've seen a LOT of movies in the theater.
ReplyDeleteThis movie still, eighteen years later, remains the worst movie I've ever seen in an actual theater. And I've seen a LOT of movies in the theater.
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