Love Sausage and Bushmaster (NSFW)

I love statting weird characters and they don't get much weirder than Love Sausage. He is a minor antagonist in The Boys. His "love sausage" was seen before the rest of him. The character would later be seen at Herogasm (where he got his name), and finally as a guard in a Vought International internment camp for Starlighters.

The comic version of Love Sausage is actually a hero  and ally of the Boys. While this version also gets his name because of his unusually big penis, it's not a prehensile monstrosity like the villainous show version.

Love Sausage: Init +1; Atk +5 love sausage (1d6+5); Crit V/1d20+1d8; AC 14; HD 6d10+24; HP 52; Mov. 30'; Act 1d20+1d12; SP prehensile penis, super hearing; SV Ref +3; Fort +6; Will +2; AL C

Prehensile Penis: Love Sausage possesses a super strong abnormally large prehensile penis. It can be used to grapple and strangle people, though Love Sausage truly gets pleasure from using it as a lash. Love Sausage gets +5 to grapple rolls when using his penis. It has a range of 10'.

Super hearing:  Like all V supes, the Love Sausage can hear better than normal humans. He can hear higher frequencies than humans. He has a +5 roll to all sight/smell/hearing rolls. This also makes him week to sonic attacks.

After posting, I decided to revert it to a draft and add another character I was reminded of. Gen V Season 2 introduced Ally, a Starlighter with an unusual power. Here power is prehensile hair... prehensile pubic hair. She is recruited by Emma/Little Cricket (who came up with her supe name) and plays an important part in the season's final battle. 

As a side note, I always wondered if Marvel's Medusa could do the same thing...

Ally aka Bushmaster: Init +1; Atk +1 unarmed (1) or +6 grapple; Crit I/1d8; AC 12; HD 3d6; HP 10; Mov. 30'; Act 1d20; SP prehensile pubic hair, super hearing; SV Ref +2; Fort +0; Will +2; AL L

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Prehensile Pubic Hair: Bushmaster's pubic hair is like Medusa's hair, but not snakes. She gets +5 to grapple rolls with it.

Super hearing:  Like all V supes, the Bushmaster can hear better than normal humans. She can hear higher frequencies than humans. She has a +5 roll to all hearing rolls. This also makes her weak to sonic attacks. 

The Marxman Aims True

While I normally try statting out characters from existing media, I've created some characters too. Marxman is an aging archer from one of my old Mutants and Masterminds games. I've decided to give him the DCC supers treatment. The stats below are for the retired hero. 

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Anton Maksimov was born shortly after the end of WWII, the son a of a sniper. He inherited his father's strong build and keen eyesight. As a teenager he left home to be trained as a part of the Molotok [Hammer] (and its secret sister team the Cepn [Sickle]). He served the teams as a scout and support using the codename, Marxman. Active primarily through the Silver and Bronze Ages, Anton served in his Motherland for many years before becoming disillusioned with the USSR and its brutal methods. With the help of some of his former foes, he defected to the United States, settling in NYC. 

Despite his desire to retire in peace, Anton has had to take up his bow a few times and aid the heroes of Earth. 

Anton Maksimov aka The The Marxman: Init +4; Atk +3 bow melee (1d4) or +7 longbow (1d6 70/140/210) ; Crit III/1d14; AC 15; HD 5d8; HP 35; Mov. 30'; Act 1d20; SP sneak silently +5, hide in shadows+7, trick arrows; SV Ref +6; Fort +2; Will +4; AL L

Trick arrows: At the Judge's discretion, Marxman has any number of the following arrows.

• Reverbium arrow - these arrows deal and extra d3 damage and are considered magical, -1 to roll on fumble tables
• knockout arrow - these blunted arrows are nonlethal, if a target would be reduced 0 HP when struck by it they instead drop to 1 HP and are unconscious 
• exploding arrow - when these arrows strike a solid surface they do 2d10 damage to everyone in a 10' radius
• silver arrow
• grappling hook arrow - has 50' foot lightweight strong rope
• sonic arrow - living creatures within 10' radius must make a Fort save (DC 15, or be deafened for 1d5 rounds)
• adamantine arrow - this indestructible arrow ignores armor and can pierce any substance (except Reverbium), a target's AC is considered to be 10 (though it can be increased due to small size based on the Judge's discretion)
• smoke arrow - when this blunted arrow strikes a solid surface, the chemicals within it mix and create a 20 radius of obscuring smoke.

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Art Credit: Young Marxman (Centaur Comics - Artist unknown)

Elder Marxman (Marvel Comics - Marco Checchetto)

Manhandled Podcast

The final season of The Boys has started. It's brutal, entertaining, and I believe the show is going to get a worthy send off. Some folks say the show is copy real world American politics and society too closely, but I'd say the real issue is that MAGA is cartoonishly evil.  

Promo videos for this season include ads for the Deep and Black Noir's manosphere podcast, Manhandled. These are spot on critiques on real world podcasts and pretty funny. After watch them check out my DCC supers stats for the Deep.  

Kevin Kohler aka The Deep: Init +7; Atk +7 unarmed (2d6+5); Crit V/1d20+1d14; AC 14; HD 8d10+40; HP 76; Mov. 40', swim 90'; Act 2d20; SP dimwitted, water breathing, communication with aquatic life, regenerative healing, super hearing; SV Ref +8; Fort +8; Will -2; AL C

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Dimwitted: The Deep is comically dumb and weak-willed. He commonly makes tactical mistakes. 

Regenerative healing: While it's not at the same level as Homelander, the Deep as enhanced healing abilities. He regains 5 hit points for every hour he rests.

Super hearing:  Like all V supes, the Deep can hear better than normal humans. He can hear higher frequencies than humans. He has a +5 roll to all hearing rolls. This also makes him vulnerable to sonic attacks.

Secrets of Strixhaven

The new Strixhaven MtG set looks great. It’s like Harry Potter, without the transphobia (and you know with much better writing).

If this looks cool, remember there is a Strixhaven 5e book.

Overworld - The Tabletop Roleplaying Game

 at The madmen at Bloat Games. are back at it. Their new project is Overworld RPG. This game expands previous releases and fleshes them out into a full game. I’ve loved their series of video game monster books. This takes the SURVIVE THIS!!  stats, adds appropriate classes, and all you need for a complete game. There will also be a separate world/setting book. 

This project makes me think of Captain N the Gamemaster  and Super Smash Bros. Also since it uses SURVIVE THIS!! rules there is great crossover potential with games like Dark Places & Demogorgons. What happens when your J-Town crew get sucked into their Nintendo? Overworld RPG gives you the tools to find out.

There are only a few days left for the Kickstarter, so don’t delay.

Fuccubus Friday - Graz’zt

Here’s a great pic of D&D’s resident demonic fuckboy, Graz’zt.

Source

What's Shadowdark RPG?

 As I mentioned at the end of February I would be moving into my own place and hopefully running some Shadowdark RPG soon. While I'm not ready to host any games yet, this past weekend I moved into my new place. It feels good having a little place to call my own again. 

I'm sure some of you are already fans of Shadowdark RPG, but I thought I'd talk about the game for those unfamiliar.

In many ways Shadowdark RPG is a simplified version of 5e. It uses d20's with DC's for checks, has the classic six stats, and uses advantage/disadvantage. Characters pick a class, gain experience, and level up.

There are definite differences as well. Like old school games, the game focuses on exploration and gaining treasure. It's also quite deadly. The game is played in initiative order, even outside of combat. Casters don't have spell slots and must make spell checks. They can cast spells until they fail a check. Instead of encumbrance, characters are limited by gear slots. Distances are abstracted to close, near, and far, rather than measured on the battlefield. Additionally when characters level up, they randomly improve traits or gain new features. 

One of the most notable differences between Shadowdark and traditional D&D is the Shadowdark itself. No characters have dark vision in Shadowdark, but monsters do. This means that torches are a vital part of adventuring. This leads to one of the most novel features of the game, the Torch Timer. When a torch is lit a one hour timer is started in real time. While delving if the time runs out before another torch is lit the characters find themselves in total darkness, surrounded by encroaching monsters. 

Does this sound cool to you? If so you can download the Quickstart for free from The Arcane Library. It gives you everything you need to play levels 1-3 (including a really nice adventure). 

Music Monday - Earth Is The Loneliest Planet

I think Morrissey is a tool and I prefer his work with The Smiths, but this bezerkartwerk is cool.

And now for the song that inspired the art. 

Happy Easter (Night of the Living Christ)

Pardon the blasphemy but this is the most appropriate day to share this. 

Also to clarify I love Jesus, it’s his most vocal fans that I can’t stand.