Sunday, October 2, 2016

October Horror Movie Challenge - Dead 7 (2016)

Synopsis: A group of gunslingers team up to take out the leader of a zombie horde in this post-apocalyptic western, that's essentially Magnificent 7 with zombies released by the folks that keep bringing us Sharknado.

The Good: Joey Fatone's Whiskey Joe may have been a drunken archetype, but I really liked him. Unlike the rest of the cast, Fatone's a decent actor and I liked his scenes. 

The Bad: There is soooooo much bad about this movie. At times the movie has too much exposition, and at times I have no clue what the hell is going on. I don't understand the villains plan. Why did she wait so long. Other than Fatone, the acting is atrocious. Some of characters are racist stereotypes. For example, Komodo, is some sort of offensive samurai/ninja stereotype, but he's played by a non-Asian actor. The same can be said about Sirene, the very shamanistic Native American stereotype, who's played by a woman that looks like a blonde valkyrie. Why do they use copperhead (zombie) teeth as currency. This makes sense in a movie like Stakeland (where vampires are hard to kill), but zombie teeth... nope. There's a weird love triangle that's never explained. Finally the climax isn't very climactic. I mean, sure almost everyone dies (gory deaths too), but it's not that exciting. Oh yeah and Johnny Vermillion just seems like a coked up Juggalo. 

Final Thoughts: I knew this movie was going to be bad. It was made by Asylum (the Sharknado folks). Still I wanted to watch it because I originally thought it was weird west (which it is, it's just postapocalyptic weird west) and it has a bunch of music folks from my teen years. Seriously, this movie features members of Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, O-Town, 98 Degrees, Everclear, and Crazy Town. I don't regret watching it, but I don't have the desire to watch it again (unless friends and drinking is a part of the experience).

In Your Game:  As I said, I really liked Whiskey Joe. I've decided to create a drunken warrior quality based on him. 

Drunken Warrior (4 point quality)

Like Jackie Chan in that one movie, you fight better when you're three sheets to the wind. Unlike most cast members, you suffer penalties for fighting while intoxicated. In fact you find that your strength, constitution, and dexterity are all increased by one while you're drunk and and in combat. 

You must have Addiction (habitual drinking, heavy drinking, or alcoholism) to take this quality.

New To Me Movies Watched: 2
Total Movies Watched: 3