Caver, Ho!

My favorite acquisition at Origins was my Caver mini from Severed Books. Because he's a real one, Justin from Severed Books brought one just for me.

Originally introduced in Caver and Cube Book 1, Cavers are a combo of familiar, fantasy mech, and mobile base of operations. They've also been features in Stone Over Sky and Darkest Rock. While all three books are compatible, Stone Over Sky is system neutral and Darkest Rock is designed for Mork Borg. Both books included at least one new Caver class. 

The minis are solid af. They are 6.25 inches tall and way about 2 pounds. They have two caps on top that can be removed to conveniently place minis (see below). I LOVE my Caver, but haven't had him painted yet. I'm not good at painting, so I will probably have a friend take a crack at it.

While I'm still working out details my next game will include a Caver. If I stick with Heroes of the Borderlands, then I'll probably go with my idea that the cultists' base is actually a caver. If I don't I was thinking it would be fun if after going to the canyon and defeating evil, the party find a random new cave. If I don't go with a Borderlands game, it's no sweat. Caver's can be dropped into any setting that includes powerful magic. The game will be a 5.5 one and I think the new Bastion rules will be perfect for customizing the interior of the Caver.

If you can't tell I'm excited. Have you ever used anything like this in your game? Would you be interested? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Add Some Brutality To Your Action Figure Collection

The first item from Severed Toys is live on Kickstarter. In a partnership with Johan and Pelle of Stockholm Kartell, they're releasing an action figure based on the cover of Mork Borg. There are four different versions: Dread Risen (pictured below),  Blood Drenched, Glow in the Dark, and Cursed. The figures are 1/12 scale, which means they'll look great alongside my Marvel Legends figures. I will probably only be able to get one and I'm still deciding which one. I'm leaning towards blood drenched. The zine (written by Mork Borg's creators) will let you summon your own undead in the game.  The project has already funded funded and three stretch goals have been met. If you think you're going to want it you should back now. If you do so before 11 am EST on May 2 you can get the Flanged Mace add-on for free. Back it here.

As an aside this is really cool for me. Before I rolled dice, my friend Chad and I would "play D&D" with our action figures. This won't be the first action figure I've got based on a rpg, but every time I add another to my collection it makes me smile.

Mörk Borg Action Figure w/ Zine by Stockholm Kartell

Dread Risen will be a fully articulated Mörk Borg action figure with accompanying zine released by Severed Toys, the new company from Justin at Severed Books.

The project doesn't lunch until April, but I wanted to help spread the word. If you back within the first 48 hours you get a Kickstarter exclusive flanged mace for it. 

GVW Available Now

GVW : The Roleplaying Game is now available in print and pdf on the Gallant Knight Games site. You can read my review of the Mork Borg-powered ECW tribute here. If you want to add to your roster you can also check out my GVW take on the infamous Gobbledy Gooker here.

Go here and order your copy today! 

GVW Profile: The Gobbledy Gooker

I felt like playing around with Glorify Violence Wrestling!.  I also wanted to mess around with a seriously infamous gimmick (that inexplicably has been brought back a few times), the Gobbledy Gooker.

GVW Profile:

Height: 6'

Weight: 205 LBS

Hometown: Hartford, Connecticut

Signature Move: "Wishbone"; camel clutch

Finisher: "The Black Friday"; GTS

Signature Weapon: Skillet

Favorite Wrestler: Héctor Guerrero 

Least Favorite Wrestler: The GVW Brawler

The feathered wrestling phenomenon known as the Gobbledy Gooker started his life in the "Fed." Considered a joke by the biggest promotion in the game, he left for the indies, never really fitting in until entering the pool and bingo halls of GVW. Technical mastery mixed with highly directed violence is the Gooker's style. While he only speaks turkey, he knows how to communicate his feelings to the crowd (the crowd always pop for his "for the drippings" crotch chops). 

No one knows why, but the Gooker has a special reverence for the legendary Guerrero wrestling  family. If any family member or friend of the family can rely on the fowl fighter for aid. In contrast, the is some animosity between the Gooker and the GVW Brawler because of their connection to Stamford, CT.

Glorify Violence Wrestling!

GVW is a Mork-Borg powered hardcore wrestling zine that's a collaboration between Alan Bahr of Gallant Knight Games and HodagRPG. The zine is 20 pages of hardcore heaven! The rules are pretty bare bones, but Mork Borg isn't a game known for being super detailed so that works. This is what you get in the zine:

• Gimmicks (archetypes): Brawling Bruiser, Technical Master, Hardcore Legend, Aerial Assassin, and Ring General
• Rules: character creation, tests, getting hurt (busted open and injured tables), doing violence (how to run a match), common actions, how the crowd reacts to you, 
• Random Charts Bay Baby!: Wrestler names, signature weapon, crowd reactions, audience object table, finishing move table, PPV name/location table, event space table, manager table
• Two in-universe character bios (with hidden stats). I think I've decoded them:
• Work Rating = Toughness
• Pop Rating = Presence
• Rope Rating - Agility
• Power Rating = Strength
• Tough SOB Rating = Hit Points

The art and layout is great. It definitely has a DIY zine feel to it and the art is fitting. It also has a faux magazine look which is nice. One issue some folks have with Mork Borg content is that it's super busy looking. This is one isn't. It's easy to read and easy to follow. If you want an ECW rpg, this is for you! Eventually the print zine will be avaible on the Gallant Knight Games page, but until this you can still get the pdf here.

Quest For The Murder Sword Review

The infernal Kill-Giant Kharkrazh the Dying finally fell, and around his withering bones cultists and cannibals dug, carved halls and altars beneath the ground in search of a blade most foul. And one night – down there in the blood soaked soil and stone they found His infamous Murder Sword, fully intact in its unholy glory.

 

Quest for the Murder Sword is a one page dungeon by Johan Nohr of Stockholm Kartell/Mork Borg fame. The adventure is system neutral, though it would work great with Mork Borg. I'm thinking about using it in a potential future Old-School Essentials game. While no stats are present, there is a discussion of comparable monsters you can use for them. This is a potentially world changing adventure and I think it would be a gnarly addition to a game. Being centered around a murdered god, it also makes me think of the story for the version of Chainmail that came out in 2001 (it centering around the death of Stratis, a god of war).

You can get the adventure here.

Welcome To Planet Mofo

The latest release from Dolorous Exhumation Press (publisher of the fantastic Strahd Love, Man Kills zine) is Planet Motherfucker. This trashy post-apocalyptic zine is set in an alternate reality in which the nukes went off during 1965 (the Year of the Thunder Kiss) and reality was essentially turned in to a psychedelic grindhouse flick. If you couldn't tell, the game draws inspiration from the music of White Zombie/Rob Zombie. The previous edition was system neutral, but the newest is a hack that uses the third-party license for Mork Borg. 

The zine is 48 pages and is a complete rules-lite game. We are presented with 7 pages of setting. This is followed by 6 pages of rules. After that is the coolest section; character archetypes. As with everything, they are inspired by Rob's music. Here are your options:

• Church Burner
• Face-Breaking Goon
• Hellfire Preacher
• Living Dead Hustler
• Satanic Witch
• Scumbag
• Wastelander

While they are more durable and powerful that standard Mork Borg characters, there's still a good chance your characters are going to meet a wild end. Player's are recommended to give it their all and play their characters like they're stolen. We're then presented with a few pages of weapons, armor, and other things to buy. Like many OSR games there are some fun random tables too. There's a page on Black Magic and the Herectile Dysfunction that happens when you fuck it up. There are three pages of adventure ideas as well as a set of random tables to help create them. There are four pages of monsters and foes and two pages of sidekicks/followers. The zine ends with a d66 loot table and a page of recommended media to consume. 

Planet Motherfucker is low brow trash. That's not a critique. It's a the best kind of lowbrow trash I think it sounds like a great game to sit around with friends and roll dice with. Add some tunes, brews, and grub and seems like the perfect time.  You can order your own copy here.

Thought I'd end the post by sharing my favorite White Zombie/Rob Zombie track. 

David Pumpkins Returns

Though to be fair he never left my heart. This new sketch is more of the same, but I love it anyway. Also, remember you can add him to your Mork Borg game with this pay what you want pdf.

Update: Found out my friend Josh did 5e stats for him a while back and wanted to share them as well. Check out this post over at Bernie the Flumph.

Davig S Pumpkins

This pdf is free, bizarre, and I had to share it. Davig S Pumpkins Mork Borg stats for David S Pumpkins. Here's the tag line:

His name is Davig Pumpkins, and he's going to scare the hell out of you.

Any Questions?

You can download this strange encounter here.

The Oyster Ditch Review

The Oyster Ditch! is a totally inappropriate, sexually deviant  third-party pamphlet adventure for Mork Borg. Written by Mike Murray it consists of an adventure site, a magical McGuffin, and new optional class. 

As you can see there is a mention of the X-Card on the cover and that's a definite need. The adventure is filled with some fucked up sex things. The suggestion is that it be presented like "Morty being molested by King Jellybean and less like 'that tunnel scene' in Irreversible." Even with that tone in mind, you need to make sure your players are ok and know they can use the X-Card if things go to far.

The Oyster Ditch is ran by the corpulent Marquess de Bastaille, who's recently gained control the Idol of Guilty Pleasures, an artifact that can bring one's wildest sexual fantasies to life. Unfortunately for all involved, the Marquess has a very wild mind indeed. The adventure has a d2 chart as to why the characters have "cum" to the den of inequity. The place can corrupt the purest souls and you may gain a violation for experiencing it. And let me tell you, these violations are really vile kinks, such as vorarephilia and coprophilia. There is also a d4 random encounter chart. The Oyster Ditch contains 10 weird sex-type rooms. These all have strange sexual creatures that, to be honest, are really ridiculous. 

In addition to the encounter locations with foes, there are two new magic items: Idol of Guilty Pleasures and Pearl Jam. There are also stats for an std, the Rot. Two new mystic scrolls are also available: Le Petite Mort and Beautiful Agony.

Finally, the Ecstasy Aunt, is a playable sex worker class. It contains a chart with reasons the character becomes one, as well a random abilities chart. Of them, the phallic mourning wood club is probably my favorite. 

This adventure is fucked up, juvenile, and pretty entertaining. It's definitely not for everyone, but if you have an off sense of humor, it can be fun. I liked it and you can get the pdf here.

 

Character Creation Challenge - Day 20

Today's character was created for the third-party sci-fi Mork Borg setting, Vast Grimm.

Source

3M-0

Agility 7 (-2)

Presence 9 (+0)

Strength 13 (+1)

Toughness 12 (+0)

HP 16

Attack: 19 Sharp Throwing Bones (d4) 

Armor: none

Abilities

Speed Dealer - can produce d3 injectable Nanotech healing cartridges per day (d8 HP). These lose effectiveness after 24 hours.

Credits: 0

Favors: 1

Equipment/Possessions: coin from fallen society, med kit (13 uses, stops bleeding, heals d4 HP),  electroshield (works as battery to charge other items, absorbs 1 HP damage from an energy  attack up to 10 [each HP = 2 charges])

Background: The databanks surrounding 3M-0 early days of existence have been erased. It was found by a medical ship and had healing Nanotech added to its programming. Unfortunately for 3M-0 the ship was attacked and taken over by the wurms.  3M-0 survived the encounter (though it now has random sparks sputtering from orifices) and is alone. It now sees all insects as wurms and smushes them when possible. To its knowledge there are no other bots like it. It searches anyways though, hoping one day to find another of its kind. It is very sad, very emo. Because it can create healing stims, it doesn't normally have issues finding work and transport.

Character Creation Challenge - Day 3

Today's character was created using the Mork Borg core book (and it's optional classes). Art by spacemerperson.

Wild Alchemist Grigori

Agility 10 (+0)

Presence 13 (+1)

Strength 12 (+0)

Toughness 14 (+1)

HP 19

Omens 1

Attack: knife (d4)

Armor: none

Equipment/Possessions: 30 silver, portable laboratory, back pack, 4 days dry rations, wineskin

Background: Grigori was orphaned as a child. Taken in and raised in the old frozen ruins not far from Allians, but the hag Milistria. He always suspected the witch was the cause of his orphan status, but never dared question the fierce old bat. She wasn't a kind mistress, but she taught him the ways of the occult and alchemy. Milistria wasn't one for mincing words and rarely held back. This trait was passed on to Grigori who doesn't abide by social norms and speaks his mind, giving him the reputation of being a loud mouth. However, the witch was wise and this caused him to grow up being shrewd. His upbringing has also lead him to look wild and like a mad man, even at rest. Luckily his mask covers this in most situations. His arms are a crisscross of scars because he will never use a blade without testing it on his own flesh first, a trait instilled in him by his "mother." Recently Milistria was killed by the Arkhanim, the Grey Owl Knight. Grigori survived the conflict by hiding in a pile of offal. Having no desire to spend the rest of his life living alone in ruins, he's decided to set out and see the world. 

Slasher Zine Kickstarter

Slasher Zine: A Two-Volume Zine for Mork Borg is a project currently on Kickstarter.  The zines are a compilation of content created for the itch.io Slasher Jam held this past October. The content takes slasher depravity and turns it into Mork Borg content. Volume 1 is a 60 page zine that will focus on classes, items, and monsters. Volume 2 is going to be 80 pages and will contain adventures written for the jam. The Kickstarter pays for getting the project printed and paying the folks that submitted articles to the jam. All stretch goal money (and as you can see the project funded, goes to pay the contributors more for their work).

I love Mork Borg and I love slashers. This project is definitely one for me and if you like either of those things, you should check it out. 

Purgatory

Purgatory is a third party supplement for Mork Borg. Within the pages of this zine you'll find tons of great content for the game. Here's what you'll find between the covers:

d100 Encounters 

The name says it all. This feature details 100 different encounters appropriate for the doomed and ravaged lands of Mork Borg. Some are environmental, others roleplaying centered, and some combat. Any relevant stats needed are provided. This section is extremely useful to gm's.

Classes and Skills

Classes are optional in Mork Borg. Personally, I really like them. The classes presented in Purgatory are a bit more powerful and odd, than the original book's. The new classes are: Fallen God, False Saint, Haunted Scapegrace, Pact Conjuror, Quack Doctor, and Unversed Alchemist. These definitely present some unique and interesting gaming oppurtunities. Three new types of skills are presented as well. They are Sacred Skills, Unclean Skills, and Worldly Skills. These are just another optional rule that allow characters to improve.

Karpyl Bridge

This is a new adventure site haunted by the cursed arcane vortex of a fallen wizard.

The Cult of the Knotted Snake

Hidden in a secluded mountain lair, this serpent cult promises food and mystic ascension for those that join. Rules for joining the cult are included, as well as a magic snake and high cultist.

Purgatory

This shouldn't be surprising, given the name of the zine, but Purgatory is a major focus of this week. There is an introduction to the plane as well as rule specific information. Monsters that populate it are described and statted out. There are several pages of hex descriptions to create the terrain. Additionally, the some rulers of Purgatory are described and given stats. The first is Civil Servant Fred. He doesn't have stats, but representing the "grinding processes and bureaucracy" I find him the most frightening. The other four are given more detail. The first is Harahel, a librarian angel cast out of Heaven. The second is Infernis the Fire Dancer, an extremely sarcastic succubus.  The third is Erixat, a cyber horse. The final is Saint Hesper, Patron of Knights.

If you can't tell, this is a very useful supplement to Mork Borg. There is a lot of new content that can be used to flesh out your games and the addition of Purgatory can help you extend games beyond character death. You can get your copy here. 

Corpsewake Cove

Corpsewake Cove is a Morg Borg compatible adventure written and illustrated by Madeleine Ember. While I didn't back the initial Kickstarter for this adventure, it's the one that got me interested in Mork Borg. Why you ask? It's because of bloody pirates! Here's the adventure's tag line:

FIGHT PIRATES, GET REVENGE, and STEAL THEIR FUCKING TREASURE!

I love pirates and nautical things. I think I've made that clear over the years, particularly with my talk of Freeport and Genial Jack. 

In the adventure the party must infiltrate a wretched hive of piratical scum and villainy, the titular Corpsewake Cove, and get revenge of the pirate kings. Well revenge is one motivation, the book also presents three alternate backgrounds to tie characters to the adventure. The book makes excellent use of the inside covers, presenting pirate vernacular and a few customize your pirate charts. In the book you'll find a description of the town, a timetable of events, details and stats for the pirate captains, the curse that afflicts them, and a massive bestiary. The pirate captains are all quite interesting. My favorite is the muscled lesbian captain, Cap'n "Sweetie Mae." She loves candy, carnage, and is looking for a good wife to spoil. There are several great monster stats in the book. A Frankenshark (it's exactly what it sounds like) hunts in the harbor. One of the pirate ships even has a figure head than can animate and duke it out. Throw in a manticore, undead creatures, various vermin, and a frothy sludge and you have quite the party.

I've not ran this one yet, but it seems like it would be a blast. There are several ways players can approach it and it seems like it would be full of memorable encounters. If you like Mork Borg and/or pirates, pick this one up. You can get the pdf here. 

Final note, this is a sidebar in the book and makes me like it even more. This is my opinion of folks welcome at my table. 

Kennels of Karnage

Kennels of Karnage is a 3rd party adventure for the doom metal hotness that is Mork Borg.  I have the limited edition cover. The adventure is 21 pages of canine goodness.

The premise of the adventure is simple. The Grand Duke Death of Galgenbeck hires the party to retrieve his stolen hounds (and particularly his most trusted servant, the dog Murder). They have been stolen by a evil fiend known as Gottfried the Hound Master. The group will have to explore a former outpost castle of Galgenbeck and defeat Gottfried and his marauders to rescue murder and the captured hounds. 

The adventure has a keyed map and several locations and encounters. Like all Mork Borg supplements there are several charts that let you customize the adventure, loot, and encounters. Some of the cooler charts include random events. There are also three different artifacts detailed. 

The book also contains a solo adventure set before Kennels of Karnage called Bloodied Memories. The adventure also includes an alteration to The Calendar of Nechrubel. This changes one of the verses and ties it to a mythical hound. Finally we are presented with a new optional class, the hound master.

Kennels of Karnage seems like an interesting adventure. It has some unique foes and challenges, as well as rewards. The optional class and alteration to the calendar is cool. If you run Mork Borg, do yourself a favor and pick this one up here. 

Mork Borg

Mork Borg ( for "Dark Fort") is one of those games I avoided because of the hype. I thought the game looked original and stylish as Hell, but I guess I felt it was too metal for me. Maybe it is more metal than I normally dig, but damn is is awesome!

The game is absolutely gorgeous. If I remember correctly the art is all public domain stuff that's been modified to look like it belongs on a doom metal album cover. While there is great substance in the tome, this one is definitely focused on style. There are some great design choice. Like Lamentations of the Flame Princess, Mork Borg uses the inside covers to present useful rules and classic OSR random charts. There's also a really feature of the book. Keep the book in light and then put in a dark room and look at the spine. 

The setting of Mork Borg is a dying world. The end times are coming. It's not a clearly defined world, but that works. There's so much here to use to build your version of this dying land. The book contains all the rules you need to play the game. It also includes an interesting adventure that gives a great ash-filled taste of the game.

I could go on and on about how cool this game is, but I won't. If  you want a better true review of the game, check out Questing Beast's video. Get your own copy here.

#RPGaDay2021 - Day 04

Today I rolled weapon. Instead of doing a long post about the importance of iconic weaponry of my favorite weapon in D&D (dagger or long sword, in case you're curious), I wanted to share something else related to the topic. 

I fought the Mork Borg hype as long as I could. I thought it looked cool, but maybe too metal for me. Well it still might be too metal for me to run regularly, but I bought the book and I love it. I'm sad I waited so long (and missed out on some great Kickstarters). You might be asking, what does that have to do with weapons? Well Mork Borg has four pages of weapon stats and illustrations and it's something else.

The layout of this thing is wild. It's such a waste of space, but at the same time, it's gorgeous in a fucked up way. Expect to here more thoughts on this topic and book in the near future.