Happy Birthday, Dave!

Today is Dave's birthday!

David Coppoletti is a great dude. He's an outstanding artist and game designer. He's one of my biggest supporters in the gaming world and life, in general. 

Here are some art he's done for me:

My Spidersona, Web-Archivist

Tim's OC, the Acrobatic Flea

You should tell him happy bday by purchasing some Moon Mutants on the Dungeon Remixer product page. If you want to check out reviews, I've posted a few below:

Moon Mutants #1

Moon Mutants #2 
Moon Mutants #3

Judge Phil's Zine of Goodies Vol. 3 Review

Volume 3 of Judge Phil's Zine of Goodies has been released digitally and it's another bizarre good time. As you can tell by the cover, the zine features the same amateur art quality and crazy ideas as the previous two volumes. This isn't a bad thing. It's what makes the zine fun. The forward again discusses how DCC helped Judge Phil, but also discusses how it and this zine is creating community and brining folks together.

The zine starts out with a new class, the Were-raptor G-Person.  This one is just downright weird. Like the protagonist of Velocipastor, you can transform between human and raptor form. You're also some sort of agent. Class-wise they get secret agent-y stuff and can also shift into a raptor. Finally they get magic, though this mimics black-ops tech and such. It definitely doesn't fit into a typical DCC game, but then again, what is a typical DCC game. Like the deathmatch wrestler found in volume 1, I think this one is a fun addition to Bloat Game's True Vigilante or Bronx Beasts. I could also see them popping up in Umerica. 

New downtime activity rules are given next. There are tables and charts related to invest money in real estate and take a stab at Stand-Up Comedy. There's enough crunch and variety to these to make them a useful and fun addition to games. I think they both fit very well with the above mentioned DCC settings.

The final downtime activity/game add-on is the Armored Advertising Agency. This bit of sponsorship makes me think of the underrated classic, Mystery Men. I'm sure we'll see something official like this in the future with Xcrawl. 

There are two adventure sites presented. The first is Boulder Mine. The party try to get some owlbear eggs for a local monstrous pet dealer. This one can be done in a single session and has a few different foes and obstacles.

The second adventure is Horse Warranty Department. The Horse Warranty Department is a mysterious new company that sells horse insurance (though they don't ever provide coverage). Obviously this is a cover for vampires. Because.... obviously.

Like previous volumes, this is a fun and ridiculous zine that adds a bit of WTF to DCC. I definitely recommend it. 

Moon Mutants #3

Moon Mutants #3 presents us with more of the gonzo goodness of Issue #1 and Issue #2. Dave Coppoletti of Dungeon Remixer is at it again (with a little help from yours truly). This issue focuses on tech and it's affect on the mutant moon. Here's what were given in this issue:

• Suiting Up For War On The Mutant Moon - Issue #3 focuses on the war that goes on in the trenches of the Mutant Moon. War, war never changes... 
• Jumpsuits of the Six Century - Twenty four new jump suits are presented and given stats. Dave has some great art in this section.
• The Lunar Leatherneck - Want to play a space marine? Of course you do! This class allows you to do that. You get armor, air drops, and battle scars. Hell yeah!
• Orbital Vehicles - Like the installment in Issue 1, this features three new traits and two new vehicular weapons. There are five different vehicles. This expands on rules presented in the zines spiritual predecessors, Crawling Under A Broken Moon and The Umerican Survival Guide. 
• Mutant Moonagerie - Counting variations, there are nine different creatures. The feature starts with two-undead soldiers. We get two shamblers, a napalm ooze, and four "definitely not giths."
• Moons-Struck - This adventure is designed for six to ten 1st level characters. The characters will take a mission that sends them through the benches and into a base. 
• The zine ends with charts that include weapons, helmets, titles/names, and languages. The book cart at the end is a tribute Dave did for me that appeared in the Umerican Survival Guide. 

I'm a lucky bastard. To my knowledge, this zine isn't available to the public yet. It's another fine piece of crazy sci-fi content for your DCC game. This is also the conclusion of the first trilogy arc for the zine. The next issues will have a different set of connected themes.

Update 3/11/22

Dave just let me know that I have a prototype copy. there were be a few differences in the final version. For example, the un-dead marines will have stat blocks I came up with.

Moon Mutants #2

Moon Mutants #2 features more of the same lunatic content in the vein of Issue #1. Released again by Dungeon Remixer, this issue features writing and art by David Marcus Coppoletti. This issue focuses on tech and it's affect on the mutant moon. Here's what were given in this issue:

• Gadgets and Gizmos - This short feature gives us more trinkets to scavenge. There are three random charts featured. The first is just items that can be found. You roll twice on the chart. The first number gives you a descriptor and the second gives you the item. There is also a chart that discusses how it's powered and another that discusses cursed power supplies, because like any DCC game, there's always a chance something is cursed.
• The Ferrordruid - Ferrodruids are a class and religious orders that align to the magnetic poles of the moon. They can hover/fly, have metal based magic, and have a few other really interesting tricks.
• Orbital Vehicles - Like the installment in Issue 1, this features three new traits and four new vehicles for orbital travel. This expands on rules presented in the zines spiritual predecessors, Crawling Under A Broken Moon and The Umerican Survival Guide. 
• Mutant Moonagerie - This section features two new creatures for your Moon Mutants campaign. The Urth Elemental is as morally corrupt as the planet that spawned it. Moldy gray agents are eccentric and off kilter spies and gumshoes. 
• Urthbound & Downed - This adventure is designed for six 9th level characters. It's dangerous, involves for distinct sections, and has numerous random charts and such associated with it. The adventure sees the party crash on the hellscape that is Urth, they must survive, and escape.
• Like the previous issue, the zine ends with random charts for the mutant moon. These charts relate back to the theme of the issue and area all tech and scavenged based.

Another phenomenal release from Dungeon Remixer. If you want sci-fi gonzo goodness, this is a fantastic choice. You can get your own copy on DriveThruRPG, Goodman Games store (soon), and Gateway Games & More.

Moon Mutants #1

Moon Mutants is a new DCC zine from Dungeon Remixer. Written by my dude, David Coppoletti, and featuring art by Dave and Evlyn Moreau the zine focuses on the possible future of Umerica. Rather than crawling under a broken moon, characters brave the trenches of that moon. Six centuries ago an inter-tribal conflict wiped out life on Urth, now refugees, aliens, and others move across the moon's surface. This is what you're going to find in the zine:

• Welcome to the Mutant Moon - This article focus on what Moon Mutants is about, how the setting came in to be, and what you should expect. This is a setting where the strange is normal and the normal is strange. I really dig that vibe. The discussion ends with a random moon junk table (and who doesn't love tables?)
• The Moon Mutant - Mutated by moon stuff, these mutant maniacs fight to survive on or beneath the moon's surface. A new class, they are a wild option for players that have a variety of useful mutations and abilities. They are hardy too.
• Orbital Vehicles - This article features three new traits and four new vehicles for orbital travel. This expands on rules presented in the zines spiritual predecessors, Crawling Under A Broken Moon and The Umerican Survival Guide. 
• Mutant Moonagerie - This section features three new creatures for your Moon Mutants campaign. The ever-changing Moon Dust Elemental can alter the fabric of the moon and moonstuff. The Ooztronaut is an astronaut that's been sucked into a blackhole and turned into something Lovecraftian. Finally there are Roverbots. The former moon rovers have evolved into something like Johnny 5 or Wall-E. 
• Mutilations at Lunatic Landing - This short scenario centers around a serial killer that's been haunting a (relatively) safe settlement. There are some nice random charts to flesh out the investigation and a badass looking killer.
• The zine ends with several useful charts and character creation bits. Classes from the DCC Core, MCC Core, all Umerican supplements, and other sources are listed in a chart and encouraged to be allowed. New characters for 0-level characters are included (with professions, random equipment, etc). Finally Moon Mutants specific character and vehicle sheets are provided.

If you like the Umerica setting or Heavy Metal (film and magazine), you want to pick up this zine. Dave has some wild ideas and he's turned them into great gaming content. You can get your own copy on DriveThruRPG, Goodman Games store (soon), and Gateway Games & More.

Inferno Road Plague Edition

Created by Wayne Snyder and Doug Kovacs, Inferno Road is a wild ride. Ran at conventions like GenCon, this game is DCC meets Mad Max in Hell. Players are grubs, damned creatures that serve Hellish princes and seek to gather and consume souls. They do this by forever running the titular Inferno Road. As you collect souls you upgrade your form. You do this until your group stops playing. Much like the torments of Hell, the Infernal Road is eternal.

I previously mentioned this being ran at conventions. As written, the rules show this. Some of the evolved creature types have abilities that focus on fucking around with other tables. That being said this can be a useful book for other DCC games too. The upgrades in particular are a fun way to customize mutants and demons. Also the vehicle generation could be helpful in Umerica.

The Plague Edition (pictured below) also comes with a few double-sided posters. These feature art, new stuff to find and encounter, and placemat for a spinner (used in upgrading). This edition also contains wonderful gorgeous and awful (in the good way) art from Doug Kovacs and Wayne Snyder. 

You can order your copy from the same cool shop I grabbed mine, Weird Realms. 

Burger Wars!

Burger Wars! is Yojimbo or A Fistful of Dollars, but set in the post-apocalyptic ruins of Umerica. Unlike many DCC adventures, this is pretty much an open sandbox. Designed for characters of level 3+, characters work with and potentially double and triple cross the factions of Oniontown.

Oniontown is a large ruined city that's home to a few factions:

• Cult of Buddy O'Burger - I've discussed my love for Buddy before. He's the god of customer service, feasting, and cannibalism. His cult was the most powerful faction until they were weakened by the Salt Lich's curse.
• Piggy King and his Piggy Pals - Mascots have power in the magical wasteland of Umerica and Buddy's archrival, Piggy King, sensed weakness in the power structure of Oniontown
• The Salt Lich - The Dead Prince of Preservation hates life and wants it to suffer. His litter mummies roam the streets. The Salt Lich cast a curse on the city preventing Buddy's cult from magically creating food (which cut them off from some of their patron spells)
• 
  Howard (1-5) and the Sleepers - There is a large supply of food and humans in cryosleep located in Industrial Park A. They are watched over by the Howard androids. The two food factions would gain much prestige and power from taking the resources here. Also there is a preserved head with knowledge that would be beneficial to all factions.
  

The layout of the adventure is rather simple. Background is given. Four prominent locations are given (one related to each faction above).  There are some random encounters given that can play out between visits to those locations. There are also supplemental plot hooks, subplots, and encounters. Finally, their is information on Jollymeals, which are special rewards given out by Buddy's cult.

You probably won't be surprised to found that I love this adventure. It's a great sandbox and I adore that Buddy O'Burger is an important part of it.

You can get the adventure in print and pdf on the Goodman Games store.

One of Us Review

One of Us is a new third-party zine for Dungeon Crawl Classics and introduces a new setting to the rules. The overall setting is post-apocalyptic dustbowl. Essentially the Bomb (with a capital B) went off in the desert and it released something dark that corrupted the land. This is referred to as The Big Mistake. The players are take the role of carnies indentured to the Madame, a mysterious mystic being bound to a traveling carnival. 

Given the new setting, the zine gives us a new starting occupation chart. These are always fun and I really like this one. Three new carnival themed classes are added to the game. The strong-person is capable of doing INCREDIBLE feats of strength, though this also comes at the risk of permanently losing themselves the the dark impulses of power. The acrobats fly through the air and dodge attacks with the greatest of ease. The final new class is the natural wonder, a "freak" class. These individuals are the pride of the carnival and are noted for their mutations. Mutations are based on the DCC RPG Annual Volume 1, Chapter 9. You can expand these mutations with that chapter or even the mutations from MCC. There's a brief discussion of using other classes from DCC and MCC in the setting (specifically Wizard, Cleric, Elf, Dwarf, and Halfling). These classes are given new names, which are cool.

The equipment section presents new weapons and armor. The Madame is presented as a patron. The actual wording of the bargain with the mystic is presented. Invoke patron and patron taint for the mysterious mystic is given. The book ends with four new monsters from the authors and three bonus content monsters from one of my favorite DCC writers, Michael Curtis.

The zine is a lot of fun. It's a really striking setting and the artwork and prose conveys that. I also like that I think it's one that with a little bit of adjusting could be used with many other DCC settings. It easily fits in Weird Frontiers and with a slight tech change Crawling Under A Broken Moon. While there is nothing innately connecting them, I think it would be fun to use with Country Meat-Grinder Classics. The early modern tech level and fact both are very American in setting makes me think they'd fit together nicely. The setting also makes me think of one of my favorite mini realms of Dread in Ravenloft, the Carnival. You could combine this with Macabre (which is in its last 25 hours of funding) to do a DCC take on Ravenloft and the domains of Dread. 

I ordered my copy from Weird Realms and as of post, they still have copies available.

The Wrassler (DCC)

I've created another mini-zine to give out at GenCon. This one was written for my fellow DCC lovers. I love wrestling and have since I printed 20 of these little guys. They are three pages of content and a page featuring me gushing about wrestling. To protect the double sided pages though, I created this nifty cardstock cover featuring one of my favorite all-time indie wrestlers, my uncle, Trik Nasty.

Eventually I will include this in a Lone Bard DCC product. I can guarantee that the version won't include my tribute to Joey Ryan (another of my favorite indie guys). If you are unfamiliar with Joey Ryan, here's a scientific look at his particular wrestling style.

Dread Cornthulhu

This is a follow up to yesterday's Corn Pox post. Inspiration for Cornthulhu's stats was take from Colossus, Arise!.

Art by Andy Hopp

Cornthulhu: Init -10, Atk See Below;  AC 20; HD 20d16+100; MV 1,500'; Act 2d14 (see below) ., otherwise 2d30; SP immune to normal sized critical hits; Fort +20, Ref -5, Will +10; AL C

Cornthulhu can make two attacks per round. Consult the table below.

1d14/Attack
1-4 Cornthulhu focuses one of its attacks on destroying a nearby structure. Creatures in the structure must make a DC 15 Reflex save or take 2d6 damage from the rubble (plus any falling damage for those higher more than one story up.

5-8 Cornthulhu focuses on npc's in the area. Killing dozens of them in a single blow.

9 Kernels fly from Cornthulhu's massive body target 1d6 pc's. They must make a DC 10 Reflex save or take 2d20+10 damage.

10 Cornthulhu swats at a PC. They must make a DC 20 Reflex save, to avoid. Failure means they take 10d6+20 damage and are hurled back 100'.

11 Cornthulhu attempts to step on its enemies. all creatures in a 25' radius must make a DC 15 Reflex save or be instantly slain, crushed beneath his corny might!

12 Cornthulhu pounds his fists into the ground. Creatures within 50' must make a DC 15 Reflex save or DC 10 Fortitude save (player's choice) to maintain their balance. All creatures within the radius are blinded by dust their next turn. Those that fail their saving throw with a natural 1-5 fall into crevasses created by the creatures impact. They take 3d6 damage.

13 Cornthulhu releases spores. All creatures within a mile radius must make a DC 15 Fortitude save or contract Corn Pox.

14 Cornthulhu decides to eat 1d4+1 pc's. The players with the lowest luck score must make DC 20 Reflex save or be swallowed hole.

Corn Pox

I had a crazy idea based on this Onion article. Be careful that your Mutant Crawl Classics character doesn't contract... Corn Pox!

In the time of the ancients insidious corporations sought to modify their corn crops to maximize profit. Unfortunately this tampering became out of control. While the corn (which came to be known as monocorn) was delicious, it had a nasty side affect of mutating and change humans that come into contact with its stalks.

Monocorn seems to be a blessing at first. It is highly delicious and able to provide a day's worth of nutrition in just one cooked ear. In addition it heals 1d6 hit points from those that eat it. Unfortunately the genetic structure of the corn can alter pure strain humans. Any pure strain human touching Monocorn while it's still on the stalk must make a DC 10 Fortitude saving throw or contract Corn Pox. When the disease takes hold the victims flesh and bones begin to turn into corn as the Monocorn's roots take hold. Until the affliction is cured, they must make a DC 10 Fortitude saving throw each morning when they rise. With each failed save they become more and more corn like. Once they fail three such saves they find themselves fully transformed into a corn based plantient. Their current character loses all abilities and becomes a level 1 plantient (though they may keep their attributes if they wish). They also begin to hear the call of the dreaded Cornthulhu...

Deadite DCC Update

My Ash Wednesday post was really popular in the DCC RPG Rocks! Facebook group. I had some good suggestions. I slightly revised the Deadite, created an Evil Dead template, and created a pdf with them. You can download that here.

Ash Wednesday - The Evil Dead (DCC)

Deadite

The Evil Dead (also known as Deadites) are a horrifying combination of un-dead demon, bodies possessed and/or animated by a Kandarian demon. They are vile creatures that seek to bring Hell and destruction to the mortal realms. They are fierce fighters and insidious infiltrators, able to appear as their host bodies regular form and access their memories. 

Evil Dead: Init +1, Atk claw or bite +5 melee (2d4 plus possession);  AC 12; HD 5d6; MV 30', 30' Fly; Act 1d20; SP luring, regenerate 1d3 HP a round, deadite possession, type I demon traits, un-dead traits; Fort +5, Ref +2, Will +2; AL C

A victim wounded by a Deadite must make a DC 15 Fort or Will save (player's choice) or become possessed by a Kandarian demon in 1d6 hours. They become an NPC Deadite and gain all of the SP abilities listed above. They cannot regenerate damage from fire, magic weapons, spells, or monsters with 5 or more HD. The only way to permanently dispatch one of the Evil Dead is via dismemberment, immolation, or magic. The Kandarian demon will go dormant when exposed to direct sunlight (potentially allowing the player to temporarily take control of the character back).

----------------

You can find the DCC Umerican stats I did for Ash here.

#SewerLife - Diggs

I remember seeing this picture in one of the Dragon Magazines I had in the late 90's. It was from a Gamma World Alternity article. I found it again recently and decided to make some content for it. Here's an npc you can add to your Crawling Under A Broken Moon Umerica games.

Diggs the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
The mutant turtle known as Diggs is the heir to a heroic legacy. The son of Raphael, Diggs and his brothers (Jones and Smith) were named after great artists of their father's youth, the Wu-Tang Clan. An angry young mutant, he is the last surviving member of his family. He travels the wastes of Umerica, seeking to help the helpless.

Init +4, Atk Machete or Baseball Bat +4 melee (1d6+2); AC 15; HD 6d10+6; MV 12', 12' Swim; Act 1d20/1d14; SP amphibious, Might Deeds (d3), +5 to Sneak Silently and Hide in Shadows;  SV Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +3; AL L

Beware The Meth-Gators!

Meth Gators have been in the news lately. While drugs would be too diluted to actually affect gators, it's a great monster idea. Feel free to add meth-gators to  your Country Crawl Classics and Umerica games. Don't be surprised if a version of this ends up in a Lone Bards zine in the future.

Meth-Gator

Init +1, Atk Bite +4 melee (3d4); AC 18; HD 4d8; MV 30' or Swim 40'; Act 1d20/1d14; SP camouflage, exploding heart, hyper aware; SV Fort +5, Ref +2, Will -3; AL N

Meth-gators are masters of camouflage and receive a +10 bonus to all attempts at hiding. The drugs coursing through their system also make them hyper aware, giving them a +5 bonus to spotting intruders in their swampy domains. However, the drugs coursing through their system has negative effects. If a meth-gator fumbles on an attack it's heart violently explodes, leaving those within a 15 radius splattered in gator gore.

What Is Flammable Hospital?

I had a nice chat the other day with Jarrett Crade, the twisted mastermind behind Country Crawl Classics. Towards the end of the conversation he mentioned noticing my copy was damaged and asked if I'd like a fresh copy. Today I received my new copy AND a copy of a probably related item, Flammable Hospital. I say they are probably related because they were made by a lot of the same mad folk and one of the endings from CCC has your characters arriving at Flammable Hospital.

So what is Flammable Hospital? Well it's a hospital that's constantly on fire. It's also a treatise/memoir on the act of writing and getting high legally. Finally, its a 12 page zine (counting inside covers) of a bizarre TV soap opera meets wtf charts and tables. There's a name chart, a couple of character creation charts, one zero level, and another variable. There's an extremely bizarre random events chart, and some other just weird tables and such. There is a map of the hospital and a list of the the departments.

Honestly, I'm not 100% what to make of Flammable Hospital. What is it? It's an exercise in zine madness. I love it though. It's just so weird and I really appreciate Jarrett sending me a copy.

Mind Games Review

UX02: Mind Games is a 60+ page psionic rules set designed for Dungeon Crawl Classics by Shield of Faith Studios.  The rules feel like the mimic 2nd editions psionic rules in a lot of ways, which is what I grew up on. While originally designed for Crawling Under A Broken Moon, these can be used with just about any DCC setting. The rules are written in a way that makes psionics different from cleric and wizard magic (without being more complex) and are strong, but don't feel more powerful than those other DCC staples. While I think psionics sometimes feel out of place in other D&D settings, they feel great with DCC's Appendix N design in mind.

The book presents a new class, the Psion. Psions can choose powers from one of four disciplines which are tied to four different main attributes. Among these disciplines, there are over 50 powers to choose from. Much like the spells of the core book, the powers take up a majority of Mind Games. There are also rules for psionic duels, which are a staple of psychic fiction.

There are several pages that present psionic items. These can be living crystal weapons (which are like intelligent swords), psychogenic baubles (which are like Ioun stones), brow jewelry, and psychic tomes. There are five new psionic creatures (braingineer, cerebear, Edacious Encephelon, Hive Mind, and lobstrosityrant) and a critical table for them.

Reid has an excellent system here. It really does fit into DCC with not much adjustment and adds to the over the top, anything could happen, nature of the game. I would love to take this, make some adjustments and do a Dark Sun DCC game. If you've ever wanted to add some psychic goodness to your DCC game pick this one up. Get your copy here. I don't think you'll be disappointed... actually I think you'll have your mind blown.

Ash Wednesday - Ash (Umerican Version)

Since I've been in a DCC mood, I've decided to stat Ash out as a character for Umerica/Crawling Under a Broken Moon. This makes sense because the alternate ending of Army of Darkness features him waking up in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Given all the iconic building in the background, I'd assume he work up in Vegas.

Also you might remember, but this isn't the first time I've statted Ash for DCC. He previously appeared as a post for my Marvel Crawl Classics series.

You can also download this in pdf form here.

YeeHaw!!!! (Country Crawl Classics Review)

I recently received my DCC Holy Grail, Country Crawl Classics. I didn't know this marvel existed until Daniel Bishop posted about it last year. This was created by a veritable conglomeration of DCC folks and Daniel lists them in his post.

CCC feels like Adventure Time if you gave it some dip, backwoods hooch, and forced it to listen to Merle Haggard and Waylon Jennings for three days straight. Or if you combined Redneck Zombies and Smokey and the Bandit, but decided to have Tom Waits do the soundtrack. Oh and add some Idiocracy and Brawndo the Thirst Mutilator into the mix for good measure.

The zine contains character generation (including occupations and equipment). There's a new feature called the misery die. This lowers your characters rolls but will eventually reward your character with increased lucky when you pass the misery around.

There is a running CCC on the fly section which lets you run a game of Country Crawl Classics anywhere and anytime (though I don't recommend doing doing Sunday school). The charts are all entertaining and had me laughing.  There is a funnel adventure that includes cannibals and space vampires. There are also several new critters to face, the fearsome being Elvis AI! Country Crawl Classics can easily be used for a hillbilly Umerican game if that's an idea that interests you.

Okay this zine is no where near politically correct or polite. Michael Curtis gave Appalachian culture a respectful representation in The Chained Coffin. You're not going to find that here. This plays on all of the negative stereotypes of country folk and is a bleak game. Thing is, even though I’m proud of my Appalachian upbringing, I’ve witnessed the darker side that inspired this first hand. That’s why I don’t find this offensive. The topics are presented in an absurd way. Honestly, I can't wait to run it for my friends. I might even come up with some new content for it.

I Am A Burgerite!

Crawling Under A Broken Moon Issue 12 focuses on the benevolent god, Buddy O'Burger. In the postapocalyptic wastelands of Umerica, Buddy is Lawful god of customer service, feasting, and cannibalism. Not quite sure why, but he's become one of my favorite DCC gods (hence the blog title title).

The issue details the two lives of Buddy O'Burger: the franchise before the apocalypse and the cult that rose in it's aftermath. The cannibalistic nature of Buddy's cult are discussed in detail. The issue also includes a series of adventure hooks that allow players to work with and against the cult.

The Clownight is a new disturbing class tied to the service of Buddy O'Burger. These mortals are "blessed" and transformed into clown humanoids. They are strong fighters that can heal and gain rage from cannibalism. In addition as the chosen of the church they can call of the cult for aid. However, like paladins and clerics, they must serve the will of their god.

In addition to being a god clerics of the wastes can follow, those that sling spells can bargain with Buddy O'Burger and take him as a patron. Much like the clerics, Buddy desires his wizards to follow the will of the cult. Like most fully fleshed out patrons, he has three patron spells.

Buddy O'Burger has quite a few mythical foodies associated with him and these mascots are presented in both their official church cannon lore and how they actually are. New treasures and items are presented as Jollymeal prizes and the creations of Doctor Dippinstein. Three new monsters related to the church are given stats, my favorite being the potato arachnid known as the fryder. Finally, if you want to give other chains the the Buddy O'Burger treatement rules are given for creating Avatar Golems, tools of the lesser mascot gods.

Buddy is just a fascinating creation and I think this is my favorite issue of Crawling Under A Broken Moon. Though it means playing a cannibal, I'd love the chance to play a Clownight. There's just something about playing a righteous warrior serving a god that devoted to feeding the masses... but also a dangerous cannibal, that appeals to me.

This issue of CUABM isn't the only place Buddy O'Burger appears. You can find him in the Umerican Survival Guide. His cult features prominently in Burger Wars (which I can't wait to pick up).

Here's some music I like to listen to when I practice my tenants of Buddy O'Burger's faith.