Sgt. Rock vs the Army of the Dead was a Weird War II story written by Bruce Campbell. Its a fun story about Sgt. Rock and Easy Company taking on Nazi zombies. Created by the application of special drugs and large amounts of electricity applied to a dead body (in a very Frankenstein manner).
Adolf Hitler, Undead Führer: Init +4; Atk +6 unarmed (1d8) or +5 pistol (1d8); Crit U/1d10; AC 13; HD 6d12+18; HP 66; Mov. 30'; Act 1d20+1d14; SP un-dead. half damage from non-magical sources, cannot be turned, undead overlord; SV Ref +4; Fort +10; Will +5; AL C
Undead overlord: Hitler can command all undead creatures of lesser hit dice. Intelligent undead can make a Will save (DC 15) to resist his orders.
Hans Shroder was a German spy who used the legend of Noric, a Phantom of the Opera-like in Washington DC to serve as an assassin.
Noric, The Maniac of the Opera: Init +4; Atk +3 claw (1d6) or +5 dart (1+poison); Crit I/1d10; AC 13; HD 4d6; Mov. 23'; Act 1d20; SP poison dart (DC 12 Fort save or die); SV Ref +3; Fort +1; Will +2; AL C
I’ve done similar stats in the past for Punch A Nazi Week. However, I’ll take any excuse I can to talk about apes in comics.
Appearing in Nedor’s Black Terror #3, the killer apes are a species of giant, highly aggressive apes discovered in a remote part of Africa. Nazi agent, Herr Kraft, use a hypnotic serum to control the apes, gives them machine guns, and tries to use them to help the Nazi cause. Unfortunately for Kraft they would encounter the Black Terror and Tim. They accidently killed many of their own trying to take down duo. Eventually they were abandoned by their Nazi captors, whom they’ve violently beat to death before retreating to the jungle.
Killer Apes: Init +2; Atk +5 bite (1d4+3), +4 machine guns (1d12 [5 RoF]), +5 dagger (1d4+3); Crit M/1d10; AC 13; HD 3d8; Mov. 20', climb 30'; Act 1d20; SP +10 to hide in jungle; SV Ref +3; Fort +4; Will -2; Path WtL
Today's Punch A Nazi Week post is a little different. Instead of an ally or enemy, here's a powerful artifact used by Hitler (and DC to explain why the superheroes didn't just take him out).
Spear of Destiny
The Spear of Destiny is the actual weapon used to pierce the side of Jesus Christ. It the ability to create a "Sphere of Influence" that allowed him to control all magical and superpowered individuals within 100'. When used as a weapon the magical spear grants a +3 to attack and damage rolls. Creatures struck by it lose any regeneration/accelerated healing for 1d3 hours. Finally Hitler used a magic ritual to taint the artifact, corrupting wielders and instilling a sense of powerlust and greed.
Recently I discovered the 5.5 Viltrumite class. While OP in many ways, it's actually rather balanced and really good. I decided to do a DCC version for fun. You can check out the original version here.
Here's the 1st draft of my DCC Viltrumite class. Like the 5.5 one I can't say it's not OP, but it is playable and I think it'd be fun.
I decided to go through my collection to find some Nazi horrors. Issue 102 of Weird War Tales has one of the most depressing and dark stories from that series. The Creature Commandoes encounter child soldiers empowered by drugs and totally loyal to Hitler. While they can't bring themselves to fight the children (they aren't that kind of monsters), their soldier handler has no qualms. Eventually the children burn out because of the drugs and become lifeless husks.
Böse Kinder: Init +3; Atk +2 punch (1d6); Crit III/1d14; AC 14; HD 2d12; Mov. 20'; Act 1d20; SP burn out, who can who can kill a child?; SV Ref +3; Fort +1; Will -2; AL C
Burn out: On a critical failure the chemical cocktail empowering the Böse Kinder's causes it burn outm reduce it's HP to 0, and leaves a lifeless husk.
Who can kill a child?: When encountering a Böse Kinder intelligent non-chaotic individuals must make a Will save (DC 14) to be able to attack it.
General Haifisch was a Nazi super-soldier loved by Hitler, himself. He was called a "model soldier" by the Führer. Codnamed Killer Shark due to his special underwater training. A master of hand to hand, he often came in conflict with the Blackhawks.
Killer Shark: Init +4; Atk +d7+5 unarmed (1d6+5); Crit V/1d12; AC 14; HD 6d12+24; HP 53; Mv 30'; Swim 40; Act 1d20+1d14; SQ mighty deeds of action; SV Ref +3; For +7, Will +1; AL C
Drowning her loss in an intergalactic pub crawl for her birthday, Kara Zor-El encounters a young girl seeking revenge for her family's murder. When Krypto is poisoned, she joins the girl in taking down the intergalactic brigand and seeking the antidote.
Review
I'm going to start this review with the negative. Like a lot of movies and tv shows with gritty settings, I found some of the scenes to physically dark to truly appreciate visually. I had similar issues with scenes from the Guardians of the Galaxy flicks. Honestly, that's my only real negative take of the movie. Did I like this one as much as I liked Superman? No, but that doesn't mean it's not a fantastic flick. Superman was a classic superhero story. While based on a great miniseries (Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow), this movie felt more like a quest story about someone that's felt loss greatly finding purpose.
Milly Alcock is phenomenal as Supergirl. She plays a character who's lost everything so well. Yet despite what the character has lost, in her heart she still retains her true nature. I really can't wait to see more of her in Gunn's DCU. Eve Ridley also did a wonderful job as Ruthye Marye Knoll, the quest giver of the tale. She's a young, honor-bound woman that reminds Supergirl of who she is and promises she's made. Of course, David Corenswet is absolutely perfect as Clark Kent. While he's not in the movie too much, his wholesome portrayal just makes me heart happy when I see him on screen. Finally we have to talk about Jason Mamoa's portrayal of Lobo. Mamoa was made to play the character. Like Superman, he isn't on the screen too much, but by the gods when he is, he's the Main Man. It's like Giffen's character stepped out from the comic pages. Gunn better fraggin' use him more!
Sexual exploitation of children wasn't something I expected from the plot, but it's there. I could go on about how this is one of the reasons CHUDs on the internet are bashing the movie, but I won't. I'll just share a meme.
I don't want to end this on a bad note. This movie passed the Pun test. There was at least one scene that evoked enough emotion from me to wet eyes. Oh yeah, the soundtrack/score rocked too. I mean any flick that used Modest Mouse rocks in my book.
In Your Game
For game stats I thought I'd write up, Ruthye, the young deuteragonist of the movie.
Ruthye Marye Knoll (Level 1 Warrior): Init +4; Atk +d3+2 Knoll longsword (1d8); Crit I/1d6; AC 13; HD 1d12; HP 24; Mv 30';Act 1d20; SQ mighty deeds of action, threat range (18-20), luck (sword) +2; SV Ref +4; For +1, Will +2; AL L
Gear: Knoll longsword (1d8, increases crit range by 1, nearly indestructible)
This time the first Punch A Nazi Week is a little different. I recently picked up the Holy Roller collection. I've decided to give a short review of the miniseries before statting out the titular Nazi bashing hero.
Holy Roller is a collaboration between some different celebrities. It was written by comedian Andy Samberg (SNL and The Lonely Island), Joe Trohman (Fall Out Boy), and Rick Remender (Deadly Class, Uncanny X-Force). It features art by Roland Boschi. As you might expect from the creative team, the story has a comedic edge. It's one part satire and one part loving tribute to comic books. The humor is off-kilter, but endearing (and delightfully dumb at times).
The story follows Levi Coen, a man who returns home to help his ailing father. He finds that his hometown has been taken over by Neo-Nazis. After being forced to defend himself with his bowling balls, he teams up with his child hood friend to become the Holy Roller, a trick bowl bowling ball wielding vigilante. Levi looks like a muscular Samberg and I couldn't help but hear his voice when I read Levi's lines.
The plot of this one isn't too original, but it works. There are some plot beats borrowed from the first Kingsmen movie, but that's alright. The story has a cinematic vibe and I wouldn't mind seeing a live action or animated adaptation. If you want to see a Jewish vigilante beat the shit out of Neo-Nazis and rich assholes, then check this one out.
Holy Roller in Your Game
Levi is an athlete with gadgets, so I figured I'd stat him using the DCC crimefighter class from Gunzo! True Vigilante #1. For the kind of racist shitsheads Levi smashes with his balls, use these stats.
Holy Roller (Level 4 Crime Fighter): Init +2; Atk +4 bowling bowl (1d8+1) or +5 bowling bowl (1d8+2) [range 20'/40']; Crit III/1d10; AC 15; HD 4d6+8; HP 24; Mv 30'; Act 1d20; SQ disguise self +3, investigation, subterfuge; SV Ref +5; For +4, Will +3; AL L
Gear: Armored costume (+3 to AC, -2 fumble), bowling ball (1d8), exploding bowling ball (1d8+2d8 fire damage to all creatures within 20' radius), EMP bowling ball (1d8 + 3d6 to unprotected electronic devices within 50' radius)
Here's the next member of Dispatch's Z-Team I'm giving the DCC treatment, Punch Up.
Colm, otherwise known as Punch Up, was a circus strong man who madea deal with a sorceress. She gave him the strength of 10 men, but have the height of one. He knew he would be regulated to the freak show because of his stature so he became an alcoholic and and became a fighter. He eventually turned to crime. At some point he ticked off the wrong criminal, leading to the assassin Coupe' being sent to kill him. The two fought but their fighting soon turned to sex. They dated for a bit before joining SDN's Phoenix Program.
Punch Up: Init +3; Atk +6 punch (2d4+6); Crit V/1d14; AC 12; HD 6d12+24; HP 54; Mov. 20'; Act 1d20+1d14; SP feels no pain, regeneration, signature move; SV Ref +4; Fort +8; Will +3; AL N
Signature move: Also known as the Nut Cracker and Ball Buster, Punch Up's signature move is punching opponents in the genitals. On a Critical Hit against a target with genitals, instead of rolling on the table he can choose to do his signature move. The attack does 2d8+6 damage and the target falls to the ground and rolls around in agony for the next 1d4 turns.
Regeneration: Punch Up regains 1d2 hit points at the beginning of each of his turns.
So far Dispatch is my fav game of the year (and not just because of Melevola). I just started my third play through Saturday. I think I'm going to start statting the cast. Instead of the choice you think I'd make, I'm going with a goofy character.
Waterboy is starts at SDN the same day as protagonist, Robert. He starts as a janitor, but can be recruited to your team. He's comic relief and his power is getting very moist (his words, not mine).
Waterboy: Init +2; Atk +3 punch (1d4) or water jet (DC 14 Ref save or target falls down); Crit I/1d4; AC 12; HD 3d6; HP 12; Mov. 30'; Act 1d20; SP water spit, holy spit; SV Ref +2; Fort +1; Will +2; AL L
Holy spit: Possibly because of his bond with Melevola, Waterboy can imbue his spit with divine energy.
He makes a power check (1d20+5).
1: Waterboy strains his throat and can't use his water powers until he rests for at least an hour.
2-11: The water expelled is just water.
12-13: Living creatures hit by this water are healed 1d2 HP, while undead and demons take 1d2 damage.
14-17: Living creatures hit by this water are healed 1d4 HP, while undead and demons take 1d4 damage.
18-19: Living creatures hit by this water are healed 1d6 HP, while undead and demons take 1d6 damage.
20+: Living creatures hit by this water are healed 1d8 HP, while undead and demons take 1d8 damage.
Wolverine: Init +3, Atk +12 adamantium claws (2d6+1); Crit V/2d20; AC 13; HD 8d12+40; HP 88; Mov. 30’; Act 1d20 + 1d20 +1d14; SP adamantium laced skeleton, heightened senses, regeneration, sneak silently +9; SV Ref +6, Fort +10, Will +5; AL L
Adamantium laced skeleton: Wolverine’s bones (including his claws) are covered unbreakable adamantium. His claws are considered magical weapons and can cut through anything.
Heightened senses: Wolverine has a +5 to all sense related rolls.
Regeneration: Wolverine has one of the most potent regeneration factors known. At the beginning of each of his turns he regains 1d6 HP. While certain scenarios may slow this, it even works if he reaches 0 HP, though he still goes unconscious.
Amazon's The Boys ended this week and while I've seen several critiques, I thought the series finale was satisfying. A character prominently featured this season, is the megacpastor supe, Oh Father. I decided he needed DCC stats/
Oh Father: Init +1; Atk +6 punch (1d6+3) or sonic blast (see below); Crit V/1d20+1d8; AC 16; HD 7d10+28; HP 60; Mov. 30'; Act 1d20+1d12; SP sonic scream, super hearing; SV Ref +4; Fort +4; Will +8; AL L
Sonic Scream: Oh Father can make a sonic scream affecting all creatures in in a 20 foot cone. Creatures in the cone must make a DC 15 (Fortitude) save. Non-supes in the cone take 1d12 damage and are unable to act while Oh Father is screaming on a failed save. On a successful save that take have damage and can act (though at a -1 dice penalty) while within the cone. Supers in the cone take 1d6 damage, are unable to use their powers, and unable to act on a failed save. On a successful save they take no damage and are able to act (though their powers still don't work within the cone).
Super hearing: Like all V supes, Oh Father can hear better than normal humans. He can hear higher frequencies than humans. He has a +5 roll to all sight/smell/hearing rolls. This also makes him weak to sonic attacks.
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Check out this Invincible and The Boys crossover pic by Paradoxic.
If you want more DCC Invincible or The Boys content check out these posts.
Yeti is another odd Guardian of the Globe I love. While the eager Nepalese hero appears to be a yeti, he's actually a 12 year old frost giant. When his age was discovered by Guardian leader, Brit, he was temporarily kicked off the team. Brit eventually changed his mind and invited the excitable hero back onto the team.
Yeti: Init +2; Atk +8 claws (1d8) or +4 thrown debris (1d8 20/ 60/ 100); Crit G/1d14; AC 18; HD 5d12+20; HP 49; Mov. 30'; Act 1d20+1d14; SP accelerated healing, immunity to cold, sure footing; SV Ref +5; Fort +8; Will +4; AL L
Accelerated healing: Yeti regains 1d4 hit points every hour.
Sure footing: Yeti can move across ice without slipping.
I first discovered this version of Dr. Doom on my friend Mark's blog, Cross Planes. I statted him out for 5e here.
The Dr. Doom of universe 691 is quite frightening. If you aren't familiar with this universe, its a universe in which the War of the Worlds came to the Marvel universe. The universe was first shown in the Killraven series and later in the 31st century Guardians of the Galaxy comic. This version of Doom is from the latter. When the Martians attacked Earth, Dr. Doom fought alongside the heroes. He survived Earth's fall and would eventually kill Wolverine and implant in brain in a robot body created with Wolverine's adamantium skeleton.
Dr. Doom (Earth 691): Init +5; Atk +12 adamantium claws (2d6+5) or +12 energy blasts (1d10, 20/60/100); Crit M/2d20; AC 20; HD 10d12+30; HP 100; Mov. 30', fly 50' ; Act 1d20+1d20+1d14; SP infravision 60', cyborg, adamantium; SV Ref +4; Fort +10; Will +8; AL L
Adamantium bones and claws: Dr. Doom is immune to non-magical weapons. His claws are considered magical and can cut through anything.
Cyborg: Dr. Doom's brain is the only organic piece of him left. As long as his brain is unharmed, he is affectively immortal. He is immune to poison and diseases.
In honor of Free Comic Book Day and Comic Giveaway Day, Dungeon Remixer presents the ashcan edition of our Superzero class. This is the early version of a class that will appear in a later issue of Crisis In Infinite Zines. Inspired by Legion of Substitute Heroes, the Morlocks, and other oddball characters the class allows you to play a hero with abilities that aren’t quite super.
Grab the pdf here. I hope y'all have a great FCBD/CGD. I will be heading to the best comics shop in Ohio, Super-Fly Comics & Games. Let me know what you think of the class and if you hit any shops for the day.
While I still need to stat ReAnimen, it didn't feel right having Cecil stats and not having ones for Donald.
Donald Ferguson: Init +3; Atk +6 punch (1d8) or +5 energy blasts (2d6, 20/60/100); Crit M/1d10; AC 16; HD 8d10+24; HP 75; Mov. 30'; Act 1d20; SP infravision 60', cyborg; SV Ref +4; Fort +10; Will +4; AL L
Cyborg: Donald's brain is the organic piece of him left. As long as his brain is unharmed, he is affectively immortal. He is immune to fear, charm, and other mind-altering effects, as well as poison and diseases.
"...or we can be the guys that save the world. We can't be both."
Cecil Stedman is one of my favorite characters in the Amazon Invincible series. I feel like the changes they made to the character for the show make him more nuanced and even heroic. While I don't always agree with his actions, they do make sense. Also, Walter Goggins voice acting for him is incredible.
Cecil Stedman: Init +2; Atk +5 Y blaster (2d8); Crit V/1d10; AC 15; HD 5d10+15; HP 35; Mov. 30'; Act 1d20+1d14; SP GDA resources, +5 to personality rolls; SV Ref +3; Fort +5; Will +8; AL L
GDA resources: Cecil has access to advanced tech do to his role in the Global Defense Agency.
The Hammer: The Hammer is the GDA's giant space laser satellite. It does 12d20 damage to all creature and objects in a one mile radius (DC 20 reflex save for half damage).
Y Blaster: Created from captured Flaxan tech, this super power blaster has a range of 20/60/100.
Teleportation: At the cost of $7.36 billion the GDA can teleport up to 5 individuals to any location on Earth.
Noise Makers: These devices emit a sonic frequency that can disable or even kill a Viltrumite. Creatures with super hearing within a 30' radius have their dice chain reduced by two steps. Viltrumites must make a Fortitude save (DC 15) every turn or take 1d4 damage (which ignores their regular invulnerability).
ReAnimen: Cecil can summon super-powered mechanical soldiers. I haven't created ReAnimen stats but for now you can use the my Sabretooth Cyborg stats.
I've loved Jacquees "Jack" Duquesne since his introduction in Hawkeye. While I don't know much about the comic version, the MCU version of the Swordsman is fantastic. He's become even cooler in season 2 of Daredevil: Born Again, showing that he is a master of weaponry, not just swords.
The Swordsman: Init +9; Atk +d10+2 sword (1d6+2); Crit V/d30; AC 14; HD 7d12; HP 60; Mov. 30'; Act 2d20; SP parry, deeds of swordsmanship; SV Ref +7; Fort +4; Will +3; AL L
Parry: While armed with a melee weapon, the Swordsman's AC gains a +2 bonus vs melee attacks.
Deeds of swordsmanship: Because of his amazing swordsmanship Swordsman of doing maneuvers similar to the Warrior's Mighty Deeds of Arms. Despite the name, this ability functions while Swordsman is wielding any melee weapon.
I love statting weird characters and they don't get much weirder than Love Sausage. He is a minor antagonist in The Boys. His "love sausage" was seen before the rest of him. The character would later be seen at Herogasm (where he got his name), and finally as a guard in a Vought International internment camp for Starlighters.
The comic version of Love Sausage is actually a hero and ally of the Boys. While this version also gets his name because of his unusually big penis, it's not a prehensile monstrosity like the villainous show version.
Love Sausage: Init +1; Atk +5 love sausage (1d6+5); Crit V/1d20+1d8; AC 14; HD 6d10+24; HP 52; Mov. 30'; Act 1d20+1d12; SP prehensile penis, super hearing; SV Ref +3; Fort +6; Will +2; AL C
Prehensile Penis: Love Sausage possesses a super strong abnormally large prehensile penis. It can be used to grapple and strangle people, though Love Sausage truly gets pleasure from using it as a lash. Love Sausage gets +5 to grapple rolls when using his penis. It has a range of 10'.
Super hearing: Like all V supes, the Love Sausage can hear better than normal humans. He can hear higher frequencies than humans. He has a +5 roll to all sight/smell/hearing rolls. This also makes him week to sonic attacks.
After posting, I decided to revert it to a draft and add another character I was reminded of. Gen V Season 2 introduced Ally, a Starlighter with an unusual power. Her power is prehensile hair... prehensile pubic hair. She is recruited by Emma/Little Cricket (who came up with her supe name) and plays an important part in the season's final battle.
As a side note, I always wondered if Marvel's Medusa could do the same thing...
Ally aka Bushmaster: Init +1; Atk +1 unarmed (1) or +6 grapple; Crit I/1d8; AC 12; HD 3d6; HP 10; Mov. 30'; Act 1d20; SP prehensile pubic hair, super hearing; SV Ref +2; Fort +0; Will +2; AL L
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Prehensile Pubic Hair: Bushmaster's pubic hair is like Medusa's hair, but not snakes. She gets +5 to grapple rolls with it.
Super hearing: Like all V supes, the Bushmaster can hear better than normal humans. She can hear higher frequencies than humans. She has a +5 roll to all hearing rolls. This also makes her weak to sonic attacks.
